Thursday, December 23, 2010

Santa's HR Manager

This is the author.
There was an article out the other day that talked about how tough it is being Santa Claus. Well that is nothing. Let me tell you how tough it is to be Santa’s HR manager.

  • You thought you had problems with seasonal hiring? You have no idea how hard it is to find 1000 or more elves to work for 5 months. Particularly these days, with so many of them finding other work in the movies. (See Harry Potter series for example.) 
  • You can only interview so many before you have to take a break from the squeaky voices.
  • Need I say anything about diversity? Next to impossible. Fortunately we have no government contracts so that makes it a bit easier.
  • Always being “short” on help, if you get my drift.
  • Dealing with egos. Not only does he have a red nose, but he has a big head about it. Yes, you know who I am talking about.
  • Making employees understand that we do NOT take weather days.
  • Having to organize the “reindeer games”. I thought I was done with carrying the “watermelon to the picnic.”
  • Breaking up fights. Employees with antlers tend to butt heads occasionally.
  • Keeping Santa away from the Christmas “cheer.”
  • Sexual harassment training, see above.
  • Telecommuting employees…. Elves on the Shelves
  • Deer poop.
  • The constant “HO HO HO”. (See Christmas cheer)

But it is all made worthwhile when the gifts get delivered and joy is brought to boys and girls around the world…..

Then the layoffs start….
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
 And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

1 comment:

Marie Arden said...

Ho ho ho, enjoyed your HR comments about Santa and the elves.
Hope you have a lovely holiday.
I do read your blog a lot!
Marie Bensing
former KSU night class student